


Crackfic wherein Kurt and Blaine are Tree Kangaroos

by crookedlystacked (skintightsocks)



Category: Glee
Genre: Animals, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skintightsocks/pseuds/crookedlystacked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: Kurt and Blaine are Tree Kangaroos and Blaine brings home baby animals in his pouch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crackfic wherein Kurt and Blaine are Tree Kangaroos

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thing that happened.

"I'm not talking to you," Kurt says, pointedly turning his back and flicking his tail when Blaine climbs back up the cage wall and squeezes through the hole the zoo-keepers haven't noticed yet. "I'm taking down those branches tomorrow and then they'll see that hole and they'll fix it and you won't be able to go gallivanting around the zoo, picking up trash."

"It's not trash," Blaine says sadly, lumbering up the tree that Kurt's sitting in and pouting until Kurt scoots further down the branch so Blaine can sit beside him. "Besides, I keep inviting you to come. We could have so much fun, Kurt! Sometimes when I visit the giraffes Finn lets me climb his neck and I can see _everything_. This zoo is so big, and you won't believe how much food the humans leave. Plus there's so much _stuff_."

"Trash," Kurt repeats. "I think you're a hoarder. I hear Jackie talking about hoarders all the time while she cleans our cage. They collect trash too."

"It's not all trash," Blaine says, cuddling closer and nudging his nose under Kurt's chin. "You like the shiny tops."

Kurt did like the shiny tops. They came off the bottles that the cart-man sold by the edge of their cage, and they caught the sun during the day and sparkled. Jackie kept finding them and confiscating them when she cleaned the cage, no matter how well Kurt hid them, but Blaine always brought him more.

"Did you bring me more shiny tops?" Kurt asks, giving in and nuzzling his chin over Blaine's head.

"Yes, but first I brought you something even _better_ ," Blaine says, almost bouncing with excitement.

"Is it a hat?" Kurt asks, perking up. Humans wear so many _hats_ , but Blaine's never found one left behind.

"Better," Blaine repeats. "I was at the crocodile pen talking to Puck and Lauren--"

"You mean you were dangling from the ropes in the crocodile pen, daring them to eat you," Kurt corrects, his tail twitching. "Honestly, Blaine, what's going to happen if you fall?"

"I'm way too fast," Blaine says, "but the important part is, I heard this noise, right? And then there was a tiny little fluffy heading straight toward them and Puck got really excited, but I swooped down at the last minute and grabbed it so they couldn't eat it."

"Fluffy?" Kurt asks, curiously. There used to be a leopard pen across from them, and he loved watching the fluffies that showed up almost every spring. "Where is it?"

"It's right here," Blaine says, inching away from Kurt and turning to face him on the branch. Blaine reaches down and pulls his pouch open, and after a few seconds a tiny, fluffy head pokes out, eyes blinking up at Kurt.

"Mew," the fluffy says pitifully, and Kurt wastes no time reaching into Blaine's pouch and pulling it out, cradling it to his chest.

"It's so little," Kurt says as Blaine cuddles into his side, nuzzling his nose into the fluffy's belly. "How did it get out?"

"I don't know," Blaine says. "I went to all the cages with the big cats and asked, but no one was missing a fluffy, so I think it doesn't have parents here at the zoo, and I was thinking maybe _we_ could be its parents!" Kurt feels Blaine's tail nudge at his, and he wraps his tail around Blaine's, nuzzling at the top of the fluffy's head and smiling. It doesn't smell like them, but maybe Jackie wouldn't notice and let them keep it. There were always new fluffies showing up in cages around this time anyway.

"I also found more rocks," Blaine says, reaching into his pouch and pulling out a handful. "They're everywhere!"

"You made our fluffy ride in your pouch with _rocks_?" Kurt said, glaring over at Blaine. "You're a horrible parent."

"Mrowr!" the fluffy says, cuddling closer to Kurt.

"See?" Kurt says as Blaine grabs handful after handful of rocks out of his pouch and pours them into the hole in the tree where he keeps all his stolen junk. Blaine is such a hoarder. He should pay closer attention to Jackie next time she talks about them.

"My pouch is all clean now," Blaine says, turning around and presenting Kurt with a couple of shiny tops. "Do you think the fluffy wants to get back in?"

"She needs a name," Kurt says, rocking the fluffy back and forth in his arms.

"She? How can you tell?" Blaine asks, cocking his head curiously.

"I can't, I just decided," Kurt says. "I always wanted a little girl fluffy. What about Joey? That's what the zoo-keepers called me when I was little."

"Me too!" Blaine says, cuddling close and wrapping his tail around Kurt's waist as they stare down at the fluffy. "That's perfect."

"Joey it is then," Kurt says, nuzzling at Blaine's jaw when Joey yawns adorably and then starts making a weird rumbling noise. "I think she's sleepy, let's go to bed," Kurt says, carefully putting Joey into his pouch before he starts to climb down from the tree. Blaine zooms past him on the other side of the tree, already waiting on the ground for Kurt and Joey by the time Kurt's finished climbing down.


End file.
